Barbershop Pimpin…Come and Get Baptized

“I never f*ck nobody’s b*tch and I never bought a Jakob…”

-Andre 3000 “Art of Storytellin Pt. 4″

The older I get, the more I realize that being able to recognize good advice is a rare skill, and being able to take good advice is rarer still.  But I digress.  So, from time to time, I will share jewels I have learned from experience or other older players in the game on a variety of topics.  I should really charge yall ninjas, but anyway…

Neo-Soul Crushes of the Week

If you know anything about Caviar, it’s that Caviar loves the female form.  Homosexuality is one of those things he does not really understands, but accepts its existence.  If you know another thing about Caviar Jones, the Barbershop Pimp, it is that he loves Neo-Soul and R-n-B.  Why?  Because he is a mellow dude and understands that music affects your mood and infiltrates your mindstate.  So he is peace all day, mainly because of his smooth grooves. 

Weekly Challenge: Do the Impossible

I was speaking to my homeboy and we was watching this old BET Uncut Video, “Time For Freakin’” by the Team.

As you can see, beside the very low quality of the video, the guy with the first verse has a coat tied around his waist at the club. I made the offhand comment that no where in the history of male-female sexual relations has a man ever got laid while wearing a Fannypack or his coat tied around his waist. So it got me to thinking, a la Tyler Durden. I want to issue a challenge to all my fellas: try to pick up a woman while wearing the Fannypack or coat tied around your waist. In fact, try to get laid by a girl you know wearing this. Extra points if you can pull a chick you don’t know. I guarantee you that the sight of your effeminate form will repel any poontang you or may not be eligible to get.

I believe it is impossible. It is up to you to prove me wrong. CHAAALLLLENNGGEEEE!!!!!

Sir Johnathon Hennessy

Allow me to reintroduce myself….my name is Sir Johnathon Hennessy. Like my brother of the pen, I hail from anywhere USA.  A large city in the Midwest full of gangstas, pimps, hustlers and the like; or like Katt Williams would say, the most beautifullest fucked up place on earth.  But it’s home.

I don’t care if you’re fugly…

Today,

I went to lunch today with some co-workers and we started to talk about growing up and the experiences we had. Somehow, the conversation came to “homely girls” and how mean they got treated.  That got me to thinkin: “Is there anyone I was mean to, based on their looks?”  It really bothered me for some reason and I went through my mental Rolodex from as far back as I could remember. 

Confidence is my anti-drug

Before you can do any thing worthwhile, you have to have an impenetrable, unshakable belief in yourself.  This is what people call swagger, presence, panache if you will.  With it, the world is your oyster.  Without it, you are just another face in the crowd.

My Philosophy…

What up everybody,

Thank you for visiting the Chitlin Renaissance.  You may be asking yourself, “What is the Chitlin Renaissance?”  Well, I am glad you asked.  Basically, it is two brothers who say what they feel.  We needed a forum of our own to express how we feel and pull no punches.  The Chitlin Renaissance represents the scraps life gives you and the ability to make the best of it, because that’s what life really is isn’t it? Workin with the scraps you are given.  And that’s what we are tryin to do.